Survivors mantra 'I haven't done anything, I haven't done anything wrong, I haven't done anything'

Innocent victims of NPD's - be it emotional/physical/sexual (none are 'worse' - this is not a competition and should never be, each experience is unique) will relate to this. And to phobias and phobic reaction

 A narcissistic 'influencer' will never, ever allow you to express an opinion that differs to his. If you do, you will be 'destroyed'  NPD's aren't stupid in the least

Schizotypal/Avoidant for example, is ALWAYS the result of long-term 'shaping' (negative influence 'model')  from the erosion of natural personality via constant abuse, shaming and fear induction with undermining by older, trusted NPD people, who could instill 'be afraid of everything'  - which trusting babies take straight to heart, being afraid is the new 'normal' for them, no matter how contradictory the older 'love' (mother/sister/brother/fad/carer) seems, the child equated the 'strength' with 'corrrect' thinking.

 I was fortunate as I was loved by my mother, whom, with hindsight and insight, I believe was a bit autistic but not NPD. However, I had older NPD siblings who are/were, one was schizotypal.  He never hurt me. The NPD's/ASPD almost killed me- whilst they were maintaining 'hero' status. Very NPD.

 The thing that kept me surviving when I had no personalty, no voice and no sense of 'self' - was great TV shows, that proved I was 'right' - Like 'Little House on the Prairie' and 'Columbo'. TV and radio kept me going all my life. It's great to hear that there is now great advice out there and I recommend these things to help heal from abuse, even if it's 'too late' - you can still recover when you think right! So here's what to do!

NPD's stir and lie. They are great fakers but the 'proof of the pudding' is in how they live.  Entitled, scheming, backstabbing and 'phony'.

Get REAL control! 'INSIGHT' !

Identify your labels, identify your feelings,give yourself a narrative - TALK TO YOURSELF OUT LOUD (but quietly, you may have NPD stalker neighbours who WILL get you locked up!)

1. Keep a notepad open all day

2. Write down every decision you make about everything

3 Identify which emotion or combination of, you have

4. At the end of each day, summarise all you learned

5. Understand and note down all feelings of 'reaction' 

6. KNOW that your reactions are often a mistake, learn to master all of them - not just fear

Do this for two months, start again as you may fail at first. Keep trying, persist.

During this time, do two things - learn to focus, learn a new hobby.

Meantime, the best books for me (READ THE COMMENTS) are John Bradshaw's  

Elizabeth Lucye Robillard 

Psychiatry is CRAZY- ALL Mental Health, C-NPD? (Social Malstructure)

 

 

Absolutely Crazy Mental Health Today 

I love this self-discovery thing and AM determined to take you all down with me (NPD) 

Having experienced, and witnessed, plenty of 'malignant' Narcissism in my trembly, enlightened life, I can pretty much guarantee it's being wildly misdiagnosed. I'm almost certain that's also a part of Sam Vaknin's (NPD expert and very kind - psychopath) message too?

 Not sure yet, he has a lot of advice online, including loads of video's on Youtube that I haven't finished viewing. 

 'Compensatory Narcissism' (like mine?) must also be a not-all-self-blameworthy state whilst also in a state of academic ignorance/inability (perhaps combined with later trauma too)? Doesn't intent define this (Vaknin) diagnosis/'C-NPD'? I think his idea of NPD could also cover a range of phobic/traumatic conditions, if not ALL of them? Are all human ego's and the traumatised - NPD? It looks a bit like consciousness itself could be described that way? Are we all wrong about everything? Or is that just bits of it?

Am I too NPD to understand or process this? Does it let guilty pheckers off the hook? Are ALL blamers, NPD? Is 'compensatory' NPD the root cause of every terror/violence-induced trauma and social phobia in the book? (re-read the book Liz!)

I've also witnessed social workers (and mental health nurses) chronically misusing psychiatric terms - in  various situations-  that are then translated into actual, very serious disorders by doctors ('taking their word for it') when the evident behaviours witnessed were clearly (mostly not exaggerated) normal, human expressions. Not a major tantrum in sight. Such team-work could be construed as 'gaslighting'/gang-stalking/conspiracy. So don't blame the paranoids when 'conspiring against' them or when working in vast teams. (*Isn't it handy for people who harass you into a state of reactionary gaga helplessness, to then blame it on your being a 'nutter'? I guess, easily done when target also suffering abuse effects) I also had years of strange 'phone calls (and LOADS of hacking online) and was told I had 'multiple anomolies' on my 'phone line (BT via Talk-Talk (ISP) 2013) and yet -

In that particular hospital, giggling was described as 'mania' and fear ='Psychosis' (they were simple anxiety attacks/phobic reaction,/acth/cortisol/blood-sugar/ localised inflammation flares - why not describe symptoms for what they are globally known as, so things are understood better? Because, what WAS the point? Fun? (Those labels have a habit of sticking ya know) Maybe, it's all a bit prejudiced?

 Worse - a cocky psychiatrist, obviously with a 'take them down a peg, those egos' attitude (heart of gold I'm sure) was regularly informing obviously scared-but-bright people, that they have no 'insight' but the same was not guilty of giving any personalised, constructive direction, only fairly insensitive, rather smug blame-perceived (alienating due to lack of respect) interviews, weekly, culminating in prescribing extremely serious drugs (maybe, in the process, causing future brain-damage/Dementia?) with indefinite detention in a room alone, no radio/TV, 24/7 for months on end, without hope or a release date (on plastic mattress of 2 feet wide) this  prescription, mostly, only ever proves to relieve temporary situations (and maybe, in the process, causing future brain-damage/Dementia?) - or cause semi-catatonia (NPD) -  makes you wonder why prisons are also ineffective? Thus treatment regularly is further disabling these already confused and frightened human animals who need their problem-solving skills honed rather than annihilated or negative beliefs reinforced. How will they be when elderly dependents?

Makes you wonder on what genius philosophy psychiatry is based (a bit of Buddhism, Mu is useful) and if it's still globally relevant and why psychiatry has the highest rate of suicide than any other profession. Do they appreciate that each snowflake, leaf and identical twin, is unique? Do they want a heaving mass of sameness? I prefer to listen to happy and healthy people, me. I like to control my own serotonin and dopamine, thanks. I kinda know how to regulate it, mostly. I suffer Panic attacks (phobias, you can't repeat some phobic situations in order to use 'flooding' or 'desensitisation' effectively) miss the benzo's though. Doctors were very silly in mis-prescribing those things, now nobody can benefit from them (not in this part of the world) due to 'addiction potential'(don't give many and limit them even further to stupid/addictive people?)

 BTW - 'Routine' (an NPD hate) feeds addictive brains! Common sense innit.

*Vaknin also condemns non-editing as NPD. Could be genuine desperation? Need for candor/Script-kiddie battles/terror? Sometimes you just need to get the important message out to help someone, and to heck with that pedantic composition? (Damn that perfect psycho!)

Some of the staff were also overtly religious at that place (MH Hospital) But I'm a hard-earned atheist me (a two day breakdown ensued on discovery that gods are imaginary friends, after YEARS of god-swaps and (very handy) goddess-beliefs too truth-seekers :D (imagine how kids feel when considering the same for Satan Claws?)  Makes you wonder when they'll start trying to exorcise their talking snakes? But they were (usually) very kind, the staff, not so much when doubling up and dragging terrified sick people out of bed and onto public halls and into TV rooms (when very poorly with hospital bugs - though cleaners were also very gorgeous and very thorough)

I thought it only took a month to change a habit? Doesn't that fact separate the intentions from the hard-wired/biological/authentic (not the sociopathic/'Socially Malstructured'?)

There 'weren't enough beds' and you got the feeling that some inmates were homeless, and that was being treated as part of a mental illness?  The sleeping of vulnerable patients on public benches in halls, was also heartbreaking (also a bit startlingly yuk at times, was also truly horrible having no sound-insulation)

Most of the patients too, were gorgeous people. Really sweet, just not focused or understanding anger and fear reactions.

Students and advocates were consistently lovely, respectful and very kind (thank you, waves!) They were always trying to understand and be helpful despite our mass-self-ignorance. Most staff did their very best to be good and it's clearly not an easy job working on an MH ward (by ANY stretch)

Where do those boss doctors obtain their joy though? What type of role model are they?

Evidently, such psychiatric 'therapy' often ends in homelessness, ill-health, suicide, dependence on daily drugs, depression and dejected hopelessness. Would all that happen without the therapy, in any event? Wonder what the statistics say?

One woman wrote (after having been raped by a MH worker during her hospital stay)
'I was (generally) too defeated to do anything about it' (he was caught and imprisoned)

*Elderly (all NPD?) globally, should all have a NEW tablet, advertised in the NY times recently (for little kids) waterproof and shatterproof (cost about a hundred quid) - with online interactive support. The tech-phobia-anger is only fear. Gentle and frequent demonstrations and ego-massage, will get them past that. Patience is underrated too. Experience can't be bought and is underutilised. I know some incredible very active older people who're lovely. Doing voluntary work in their late 80's!

I witnessed an (actually fun and very beautiful/funny/intelligent/nice!) disturbed, NPD/BPD/Sociopath win a MH tribunal to leave hospital in order to escape ECT, and two perfectly 'normal' (if frightened and phobic) people lose their MH tribunals (Tribunals can include angry looking, excited/flushed/red-faced kinda, panting magistrate - plus superficially charming and sweet but ruthless (and negligent) MH solicitors, attractive (if condescending) MH nurses (truth, sorry) all working, valiantly, 'as a team' to condemn said scared mental 'victims' (not enough advocacy) who are then forced to stay in terribly noisy wards (quite dangerous, plus extremely loud alarms all day and lots of the night) invasive mixed wards (though folks were kindly warned when rapists were awake) as you are peeked at every ten minutes (strange men peeping all day/at night is never going to be popular with me) -  for months on end due to not wanting to take drugs (and suffering frequent threats of physical restraint by using huge-guy force if not)   *You have to call the police if you get assaulted by patients in there, which isn't that rare (Police visits were strangely welcome relief x)

Are cats Psychotic and Dogs NPD? Is 'being true to yourself' NPD?  Is any character at all, NPD? I'm not getting this. Must read that book properly (My lack of focus can be disgusting, NPD's sometimes self-loathe too) Is having a sense of humour, NPD? Is happiness? Cuz my little soul was always a happy and good one, I wanted to be a nurse age 4 and I still like to help people. Very selfish this self-validation?

Being properly assertive, seems to be a winner. Not every patient can own that skill too well under pressure or terror though. The fear-factor is misunderstood.

About 20-30% of the patients, quite clearly (to me!) shouldn't have been there. Not with their type of problems. Not in that 'adversarial, demeaning, defeating, scary' place. They also shouldn't be cuffed READ MORE

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