NPD thinking can be VERY similar to trauma. Have you tried these tips for when in a bad way? Give it a go. Might help. Here is an audio trying to explain the dynamics of phobias in a different way.
Drugs can enhance your problems as they stop you laughing! I am very f*cked up by losing Robin Williams and am positive he would not have died had he been drug free and able to feel his dopamine and serotonin properly! It's best to stop. Hard? Try following procedures for NEW thought-stopping and see a nutritionist!